My wife is an exceptionally brilliant driver. She has good steering control, great reflexes, an extraordinary sense of anticipation and an incredible feather-touch foot on the brake. She is a genius at choosing routes that have the least traffic and has an exceptional talent for finding vacant parking slots. I know all this because my wife has told me so herself. Many times. From the passenger’s seat while I have been driving.
Lest you misunderstand me, let me assure you she was not joking. I’m not saying what she said was correct – I have not had a chance to really put it to test because she rarely drives when I am around – but she genuinely believes what she says. But notwithstanding the credibility or otherwise of her exemplary testimony to her own driving, I will confess here that speaking for myself, I deserve a C for driving. I manage to get by with a bit of luck and some effort from point A to point B on my regular beat or from A to C. But ask me to go from B to C and that panic-stricken, floundering mass that you see in front of you will likely be me.
Often I have been ploughing serenely along the road only to find myself at a sudden, nervous crossroad. And shortly after that I will probably be speeding unexpectedly on some spanking new bridge, moving dramatically and emotionally in a completely wrong direction, propelled from behind by a pack of impatient, fiercely honking cars.
PG Bhaskar is a private banker and a former Khaleej Times’ Friday humour columnist. He has authored several books and tries hard to keep up with the times @bhaskarpg and www.pgbhaskar.com. Look out for his weekly humor column on B-Change Saturdays.
Featured Image Artwork by Bhoomika Ghaghada