I am about 40 days away from the ‘big day’ and, trust me, the wedding is one thing, but marriage?
Marriage is a lot more than a beautiful dress and the perfect guy; it is lot of commitment, compromise, settling down, and huge amount of preparation [especially if it is a desi wedding].
I’m a bag of emotions: happy, sad, anxious, angry, stressed.
I would have liked to be the glowing, happy bride but, honestly, once you are closer to being a bride, you are everything but a radiant, ecstatic one.
So here I am, putting down thousands of thoughts of a young bride into five that you may relate to as well:
1. “Oh my God! I can’t believe I’m getting married.”
From the day the date is fixed until the grand day arrives, the bride drowns in this thought.
Yes, because it is unbelievable that I won’t be single anymore – It’s an overwhelming thought, since I’ve barely finished university.
For any bride-to-be, number of questions follow this thought:
‘Is this the right decision?’, ‘Am I ready for this?’, ‘Is he a good man?’
and several similar questions which seem to have no proper answer. And then once again you find yourself thinking ‘Wow! Am I really getting married?’
So, if you have moments of realisation as you go through the wedding planning and motions, know that it’s normal. The sense of surrealism stays on.
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2. “How am I going to live without my family?”
I’m 20 and I still need my mum to open fizzy drink bottles for me, so why shouldn’t I be thinking about this?
Yes, getting married and living with ‘him’ can be exciting, especially if you really, really like him, but I have spent 20 years with my folks and it feels scary to be living all alone with a man and without my noisy siblings running around the house.
Honestly, it doesn’t matter at what age you settle down with your life partner, this thought will be a constant nagging, emotional thought at the back of your mind.
Gradually, amidst the chaos, you realise how the woman who brought you into this world plays such a big part in your life and your father, who has been working day and night, only wishes to fulfil your desires.
Even your siblings begin to seem endearing!
I have realized what family really is and this recurring thought may even last until I finally feel comfortable with all that’s to come after marriage. It’s uprooting your whole life to live with someone else – it has to be strange.
3. “How am I going to smile and pose for the camera every minute!”
Yes, you might be great at taking selfies, but when it comes to your wedding photoshoot and cheesy, romantic poses, you want to run away!
Professional photographers have a knack for ‘romantic poses that turn out awkward.
Since the day we booked the photographer, it’s been haunting me.
You have to stare ‘lovingly’ into your to-be-husband’s eyes and smile at the same time. Not possible!
Romance isn’t my cup of tea; it doesn’t come easily. It takes me time to understand a romantic gesture and dialogue, but this is another one of those hundred thoughts. I’m sure many non-romantics may relate to this!
Also, the candid pictures is another threat to my survival. Will my jaws and muscles be able to survive this?
4. “I can’t cook without burning something and now I have to take care of a home by myself?”
You spend your whole life running away from the things you don’t like, but they find a way to catch up with you. For me, it’s cooking.
If something went wrong in the kitchen, I knew my mum had my back. If I had exams, I knew my mum would manage all the work. And if I didn’t want to do anything, I would make up excuses and run away knowing she didn’t fall into the trap; she just pretended to believe me and let me be.
Therefore, the mister has to deal with the burnt food for a while until I fall into good practice and become a MasterChef. Until then, he MAY have to chop the onions because if do so, I may cut my fingers instead with teary, blurry eyes.
So, yes, some may say that living with your loved one can make every challenge easy but let’s be realistic – That’s not always possible (especially if you are marrying a foodie).
5. “This thought just occurred to me and got me worried: Is he going to have second thoughts after reading this article?”
My last few points might have given away a lot about me.
Oh goodness! Nevertheless, he better not have second thoughts now.
I might be bombarded with messages about being romantic, onions, and feeling better, but nothing can control my mind. For all you ladies, there may be a persistent and vague fear that he may want to back out and feel like he’s not ready for this, but remind yourself – it’s just the nerves.
When you are a bride-to-be, enjoy every feeling and every moment of chaos. This is once in a life time experience so enjoy and cherish everything that come with the marriage.
Marriage isn’t only love, love and love. It goes beyond that. Feeling nervous and drowning in anxiety is natural but there’s always underlying happiness – looking forward to a lifetime of tiffs, laughs, hugs and annoyances with your beloved.
Are you getting married soon? What’s on your mind? Tell us in the comments below.