’You’re not on WhatsApp?’ people ask me, looking at me like I was a piece of some pre-historic fossil that had suddenly fallen onto their dinner plate.

No, I’m not.

‘Why not?’

Well, I have good reasons. Firstly, I must confess I am, by nature, several years behind the communications curve. And I like it that way. In the mid-nineties, my office presented me with something that was big, black and resembled a bomb. They said it was a ‘mobile’ and would help me in my work. I put it in the bottom drawer of my desk where it stayed for the next two or three years without being disturbed. Then, when my office deemed it appropriate to give me a new phone, I dug out the old one and returned it to them. This time, I progressed enough to charge my new phone before putting it back in the drawer. A few months later I took it out, charged it again and started carrying it around in my brief-case for a few months.

It’s just the way I am. I got on to Facebook only when my first publishers opened their eyes wide and exclaimed ‘You’re not even on Facebook?!’ Even smart phones did a couple of chukkars of the globe before one of them found in me, an owner.

So, no. I’m not on WhatsApp. I don’t care if it’s free. I don’t care if everyone else is on it. And no, I’m not frightfully keen on being part of a school group (I have been to seven schools). It is bad enough to hear other people’s phones squeaking and twittering constantly. I want mine to be like me. Quiet and ahem .. dignified.

And besides, I just don’t want to be on WhatsApp, dash it!

PG Bhaskar is a private banker and has authored several books. He tries hard to keep up with the times @bhaskarpg and www.pgbhaskar.com. Look out for his weekly humor column on B-Change Saturdays.

Featured Image Artwork: Huffington Post